EMERGENCY MEMO TO JANET RENO: DON'T RAID VIEQUES!
MEMO: 05-01-00
TO: Attorney General Janet Reno
FROM: Lucia Toledo, Associate Producer
RE: The Pentagon's planned sea-and-land raid on Vieques, the island off Puerto Rico with a U.S. Navy bombing range that has been occupied recently by dozens of protestors
Janet, can I give you some advice? Don't. It's risky. People could get hurt. Moreover, you might hurt yourself-- you might bomb, theatrically speaking. Sure, you've got a law to enforce. I know that President Clinton made a deal in January with Puerto Rico Governor Pedro Rosello that allows the Navy to continue military exercises on Vieques, in exchange for an American promise to abide by a Puerto Rican referendum on the future of the range. But most raids make bad theater, and the raids you've staged definitely need better scripts.
This time, the plot is especially weak. Training the Atlantic fleet is not exactly a flashpoint for American audiences. People will side with the protestors-- many of whom, pictured on Friday in the New York Times, are Adorable Old People, which, in entertainment terms, you don't wanna mess with. The back story has problems: The United States' colonialist history with Puerto Rico and, frankly, your own history with the raiding process. (That image of Elian with an automatic weapon in his face doesn't help.)
The actors? Well, Janet, you're fine. A little wooden, but people like to see how nobly you manage that disability (I'm talking about your fashion sense!). Freeh, he's cute but scary, which is great-- like somebody who might freak after a round of dirty sex. Defense Secretary Cohen-- just goofy enough. But you've got to rethink the rest of the cast. You've got to humanize your boys and girls, the ones who actually do the raiding. And I'm not just suggesting that you allow them to unbutton or remove their shirts, or be shot close-up, sweaty, and in slow-motion (though you might take a lesson or two from "Baywatch" on how to make law enforcement watchable). It's more that we need to see your kids' pain and conflicts. Do they like raiding? Do they believe in it? What does it mean to follow orders? It's the Nazi war criminal thing. Plus, do they work out after a full day of raiding, and if so, what do they wear?
Look, I don't want to be too superficial about this, but the gravely legal approach you've been using way undervalues critical issues like the right of the Puerto Rican people to determine how their land is used. And those are precisely the issues that a supposedly superficial, entertainment-oriented approach can point up-- and has pointed up ever since those ancient military operations that Homer wrote about.
Waco or Entebbe, Janet. That's all I'm asking.
Best,
L.
TO: Attorney General Janet Reno
FROM: Lucia Toledo, Associate Producer
RE: The Pentagon's planned sea-and-land raid on Vieques, the island off Puerto Rico with a U.S. Navy bombing range that has been occupied recently by dozens of protestors
Janet, can I give you some advice? Don't. It's risky. People could get hurt. Moreover, you might hurt yourself-- you might bomb, theatrically speaking. Sure, you've got a law to enforce. I know that President Clinton made a deal in January with Puerto Rico Governor Pedro Rosello that allows the Navy to continue military exercises on Vieques, in exchange for an American promise to abide by a Puerto Rican referendum on the future of the range. But most raids make bad theater, and the raids you've staged definitely need better scripts.
This time, the plot is especially weak. Training the Atlantic fleet is not exactly a flashpoint for American audiences. People will side with the protestors-- many of whom, pictured on Friday in the New York Times, are Adorable Old People, which, in entertainment terms, you don't wanna mess with. The back story has problems: The United States' colonialist history with Puerto Rico and, frankly, your own history with the raiding process. (That image of Elian with an automatic weapon in his face doesn't help.)
The actors? Well, Janet, you're fine. A little wooden, but people like to see how nobly you manage that disability (I'm talking about your fashion sense!). Freeh, he's cute but scary, which is great-- like somebody who might freak after a round of dirty sex. Defense Secretary Cohen-- just goofy enough. But you've got to rethink the rest of the cast. You've got to humanize your boys and girls, the ones who actually do the raiding. And I'm not just suggesting that you allow them to unbutton or remove their shirts, or be shot close-up, sweaty, and in slow-motion (though you might take a lesson or two from "Baywatch" on how to make law enforcement watchable). It's more that we need to see your kids' pain and conflicts. Do they like raiding? Do they believe in it? What does it mean to follow orders? It's the Nazi war criminal thing. Plus, do they work out after a full day of raiding, and if so, what do they wear?
Look, I don't want to be too superficial about this, but the gravely legal approach you've been using way undervalues critical issues like the right of the Puerto Rican people to determine how their land is used. And those are precisely the issues that a supposedly superficial, entertainment-oriented approach can point up-- and has pointed up ever since those ancient military operations that Homer wrote about.
Waco or Entebbe, Janet. That's all I'm asking.
Best,
L.
posted by Lucia Toledo at 9:31 AM
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