Don't get us wrong: we love smoking. We just hate the sanctimonious bastards who make cigarettes. They're always lying, equivocating, and "positioning" themselves, instead of just saying, "Look, we make cigarettes; you love cigarettes; you know cigarettes are bad for you; sure, you'll stop smoking some day"-- boom, end-of-story.
Just in case you believe that big tobacco companies, after lying to us for decades, are now our friends because they're telling us, in TV and prints ads, that they want to nurture a "dialog about tobacco use" and promote "adult choice": The reality is that they need to keep selling billions of units per year, at least for another couple of years, before they can diversify further into more food- and entertainment-based companies-- which is why they are looking abroad and salivating over needy governments with less stringent food-and-drug rules than in the U.S. and less sophisticated citizen-consumers.
According to the New York Times, the World Health Organization has just released a report detailing an "ambitious, often covert effort... to curb global anti-smoking initiatives, dating back to the 1980s." Drawing on documents that have emerged in recent successful lawsuits against big tobacco companies, the report accuses the companies of "creating bogus front groups, misrepresenting research, pitting other international organizations against the W.H.O., and lobbying to cut the organization's funding."
Yup, in the U.S., now that the law is on their tail for actively promoting disease and addiction all these years, big tobacco companies are positioning themselves as responsible members of society, while at the same time, outside the U.S., they're selling the same old shit, in the same old way. And actually, it's not even the same shit these guys are selling abroad. In the U.S., even with federal restrictions, cigarettes contain, like, 150 ingredients* other than tobacco**. In much of the rest of the world, they contain even more really delicious, addictive stuff!
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* Acetanisole; acetic acid; acetophenone 2- acetylthiazole; ammonium hydroxide; anisyl formate; benzaldehyde; benzoin, resinoid; benzyl alcohol; bergamot oil; bois de rose oil; borneol; bornyl acetate; bornyl isovalerate; butyric acid; caramel color; cardamom seed oil; carob bean and extract; beta-caryophyllene; castoreum extract; celery seed oil; cellulose; chamomile flower, roman extract and oil; cinnamaldehyde; cinnamyl alcohol; cinnamyl cinnamate; citral; citric acid; citronella oil; d,l-citronellol; civet absolute; clary oil; cocoa & cocoa products; coffee extract; cognac, green, oil; coriander oil; davana oil; delta-decalactone; gamma-decalactone; decanoic acid; diacetyl; diammonium phosphate; 2,3-diethylpyrazine; dill oil; 6,10-dimethyl-5,9-undecadien-2-one; 2,5-dimethylpyrazine; dimethyltetrahydro-benzofuranone; ethyl 2-methylbutyrate; ethyl acetate; ethyl butyrate; ethyl hexanoate; ethyl isovalerate; ethyl lactate; ethyl maltol; ethyl octanoate; ethyl phenylacetate; ethyl propionate; ethyl vanillin; 2-ethyl-3,(5 or 6)-dimethylpyrazine; 5-ethyl-3-hydroxy-4-methyl-2(5h)-furanone; 2-ethyl-3-methylpyrazine; fenugreek extract; geraniol; geranium rose oil; geranyl acetate; glycerol; guar gum; 2,4-heptadienal; gamma-heptalactone; 2-heptanone; hexanoic acid; 3-hexen-1-ol; hexen-2-al; hexyl acetate; hexyl phenylacetate; 4-hydroxy-2,5-dimethyl-3(2h)-furanone; 4-(para-hydroxyphenyl)-2-butanone; immortelle extract; alpha-ionone; beta-ionone; isoamyl acetate; isoamyl butyrate; isoamyl formate; isoamyl hexanoate; isoamyl isovalerate; isoamyl phenylacetate; isobutyraldehyde; isobutyric acid; isovaleric acid; kola nut extract; lauric acid; licorice extract; lime oil; linalool; lovage extract; maltol; mate absolute; l-menthol; para-methoxybenzaldehyde; methyl isovalerate; methyl linoleate (48%), methyl linolenate (52%); 5-methyl-2-phenyl-2-hexenal; 6-methyl-3,5-heptadien-2-one; 6-methyl-5-hepten-2-one; 4-methylacetophenone; 3-methylbutyraldehyde; 2-methylbutyric acid, methylcyclopentenolone, mimosa absolute; mountain maple extract solid; gamma-nonalactone; oakmoss absolute; gamma-octalactone; octanoic acid; opoponax oil; orange oil, sweet; orris root extract; pectin; omega-pentadecalactone; peppermint oil; phenethyl alcohol; phenethyl phenylacetate; phenylacetaldehyde; phenylacetic acid; piperonal; potassium sorbate; propenylguaethol; propyl para-hydroxybenzoate; propylene glycol; pyruvic acid; rhodinol; rose oil, bulgarian, true otto; rum; sage oleoresin; sandalwood oil, yellow; sclareolide; spearmint oil; styrax extract; sugar: corn syrup; sugar: invert sugar; sugar: sucrose; tangerine oil; alpha-terpineol; 2,3,5,6-tetramethylpyrazine; tolualdehydes (mixed o,m,p); para-tolyl acetate; para-tolyl isobutyrate; 4-(2,6,6-trimethylcyclohex-1-enyl) but-2-en-4-one; 4-(2,6,6-trimethylcyclohexa-1,3-dienyl) but-2-en-4-one; 2,3,5-trimethylpyrazine; gamma-undecalactone; valeraldehyde; valerian root extract; vanilla extract; vanillin; veratraldehyde; carbon dioxide; ethyl alcohol; water.
** And that's not including the paper, the glue, and the ink for the cute little trademark.
