NUCLEAR ENERGY REDUX: IS ANYONE DEBATING SAFETY STANDARDS?

Ten years ago, when the number of nuclear power plants in the U.S. reached its peak of 110, it looked as though economics alone would eventually shut down the nuclear power industry. Plants were hugely expensive to build and maintain, given government regulations. Then, of course, there was the fact that decades of debate about the safety of nuclear power and the disposal of nuclear waste had soured the public on the fantasy of clean, abundant, affordable power.

But nuclear energy isn't dead yet. In the last decade, almost sixty reactors have, according to the New York Times, "quietly received the [Nuclear Regulatory] commission's permission to increase heat output and thus electric production"-- in other words, deregulation. What that means, given recent electricity shortages and the soaring price of natural gas, is that nuclear power has become more cost effective-- a fact that thrills many planners in that industry. Plants that have strained the bank accounts of their original builder/owners are now being bought by new owners who are making the plants more profitable under today's economy. At the same time, both new and old owners are pushing their plants harder and running them longer between down-times than ever before. The Times reports that one plant "now shuts for refueling every 18 months [while]... in the 1970s and 1980s, it would shut down every year for 60 or 70 days."

The Times also reports that "in the early days, emergency shutdowns came every couple of months of so; now they are so infrequent plant managers remember each one, and every manual shutdown." Which says to us that in an effort to make an economic go of it this time, plant owners are redefining safety-- in their terms, and without as much public input as when this was a burning issue.

We don't know what the safety standards should be; do you? Does anybody know how to re-think the whole issue of safety, when it comes to nuclear power? The point is that there is precious little public discussion of this issue and it's time to get one going again-- especially since our track lights and stereo systems and refrigerators and hair dryers, and the plants that manufacture our cell phones and batteries and cars and sneakers, are using more power than ever. Some nuclear plants are 40 years old and are being re-licensed for another 20 years; parts of their structure are decaying, yet because of computers and new materials used for repairs, owners are saying that plants are safer than ever. One one hand, that may be true. On the other, has anyone solved the problem of disposal of nuclear waste? Aren't we still just planning to cram it down the throat of Mother Earth, even if in some remote spot that's in nobody's back yard? Aren't we still kinda soft-pedaling the fact that's been staring us in the face ever since nuclear power began-- that the waste is the most toxic substance ever known and it stays toxic for millennia?

Reports From The Lush Culture

Sauce Therapy
This Week's Guest Columnist: Lucia T.

This is your week, sauce maniacs-- lush culture's high holy days-- but we want you to get through it with a minimum of suffering, so let us give you a little advice.

- Stick with "goal drinking."
Know where you're going with alcohol, strategically, and pace yourself appropriately for the trip. Starting the party early on New Year's Eve? Maybe you wanna go easy on the distilled spirits until after midnight, when you'll be expected to make less sense. (Note: Make sure any business conversation you need to have with the limo driver is done before you compromise that famously sharp mind of yours.) Going out with someone special? Stay in "drink sync" with your date-- meaning that both of you should try to keep both your consumption at the same pace.

- Avoid any drink with "nog" in the title.
Webster's defines "nog" as "a strong ale formerly brewed in Norfolk, England," but what we're mainly talking about eggnog, consisting of eggs beaten with sugar, milk or cream, and often alcoholic liquor. That shit is so delicious that you can drink too much of it before realizing how sickening it is, so we think you should stay away from it. Also avoid, for the same reason, creamy/fruity liqueurs.

- Never mix, never worry.
Actually, this has been proven untrue, hasn't it? Some people seem to be able to drink all kinds of drinks throughout the night and stay fine, while others stick to their favorite stuff and still get sick. Now that we think of it, we think the rule should be: always mix and always worry (in the existential sense of the words "mix" and "worry").

- Count your drinks.
It's as simple as it sounds: Know whether you're on your third or your fourth, your tenth or your twelfth. Here's why: Over time, you'll get a better idea of cause-and-effect, as in, "I start slurring my speech after my fifth scotch" and "I black out after my eighth vodka." If you're smart, this information will come in handy someday, like when you finally decide to avoid slurring, blackouts, or ARIs (those mysterious alcohol-related injuries-- scrapes and bruises-- you sometimes wake up with). Counting is also a good idea because when your count goes to hell, you'll know you're in trouble.

Before going to bed (or passing out):

- Take two Advils (or three).
Aspirin works well, but we find that Advil works better. This will help keep those tiny blood vessels in your head from squeezing shut.

- Drink plenty of water.
This keeps you from dehydrating, which is one of the bad things that alcohol does to your body. When we're really blotto, we try to drink, like, a gallon of water before going to bed because the first and subsequent trips to the bathroom serve as opportunities for even more water intake, adding a nicely therapeutic program to our sleep cycle.

Favorite moment on New Year's Day: It comes around twilight, at 5 or 6 in the afternoon. After complaining about how much you drank the night before and how nice it will be not to drink today, you reason that since it is a holiday maybe a little drink wouldn't be such a bad idea. And after pouring yourself a glass of something, you discover that it's a great idea....

Reports From The Lush Culture

SAUCE THERAPY
This Week's Guest Columnist: Lucia T.

Advertising's not a bad thing. Neither is alcohol. But given America's puritanical heritage, advertising for alcohol has always been viewed with suspicion by high-ranking pleasure-haters. After Prohibition-- can you believe that anybody ever tried to outlaw liquor? they must have been on drugs to think they could do it!-- beer and wine ads sneaked back into the media, but the hard liquor industry had a tougher time, observing a self-imposed ban on radio and then TV advertising.

Did you realize that ban was voluntary? A lot of people don't. Well, it was voluntary, but happily the ban was dropped in 1996 and ads for vodka, gin, whiskey, and other spirits have been sneaking onto TV. The ads appear on local stations, during appropriate time slots, aimed at appropriate audiences, of course-- meaning late-night, adults-only. According to the New York TImes, more than 100 local television stations in nearly 90 markets have agreed to take Seagram's advertising." The Times also reports that ads for a brand much loved around Platform offices, Jack Daniels, have appeared in Miami, Las Vegas, and other local markets, on NBC, Fox, and CBS, during shows like "E.R." and "West Wing." So while most cable and network TV channels still carry no liquor ads, it's only a matter of time before they all do, nationally, for several reasons:

1) Beer and wine have enjoyed an unfair advantage.
Hard liquor manufacturers have always complained loudly that they're at a competitive disadvantage, without the kind of TV and radio advertising that beer and wine can do, and they're right. Liquor is no "dirtier" than wine and beer. If we associate gin with flopping alone in hallways of inner city, single-room-occupancy hotels and wine with hosting dinner-tables of dear friends on warm, sophisticated evenings in beautifully restored, vintage suburban homes, then it's because we've gotten suckered into a fantasy. The reality is that dissolute alcoholics come from both sides of the tracks and are likely to drink anything.

2) TV needs ad revenues.
Media outlets have never been more strapped for advertising revenue, especially the so-called minority media, which have been misunderstood or overlooked by many advertisers. The spread of liquor advertising is gonna be great for minority media. Sure, racist marketers have traditionally exploited alcoholism (and tobacco addiction!) in minority communities by seducing consumers with "sophisticated lifestyle" ads. But nowadays everybody's waking up to those growing numbers of increasingly affluent (and intelligent!) urban consumers, so it's a sure bet that liquor advertisers have their eyes on the WB and UPN.

3) People like fun commercials.
In print, liquor ads have been pretty creative. In the attempt to get away from the negative "drink and you'll get drunk" message, many advertising creative directors have pioneered genius campaigns, like the famous conceptual one that marketing legend Michel Roux did for Absolut. Can you imagine how much fun a 30-second TV spot for a liquor brand would be if done as a mini film noir or a mini hiphop music video?

Of course, when liquor does arrive on mainstream TV it will be in ads that have been created and deployed with conspicuous responsibility. Models and actors will clearly be over 21 (or over 25, as is currently promised by Allied Domecq, which have TV campaigns for Kahlua, Crown Royal, and Chivas); targetted audiences will also be older; time slots will be late-prime time to late-night. And you know what? I think we'll manage to respond to these ads just as responsibly and not immediately go out and gulp ourselves into a vomit-laced blackout.

THE OPINIONATOR ON.... PRISON POPULATIONS AS A GROWING MARKET FOR GROOVY NEW CONSUMER GOODS

Convenient, isn't it? America's prison population has swelled so scandalously huge-- 1.3 million people in state and Federal institutions in 1999!--that this population now constitutes an important business market. Prisons have always meant profits for specialized enterprises, like companies that make institutional furniture and construction companies that build new facilities. But now Zenith, Koss, and other more consumer-oriented companies are getting into the act, with see-through and other specially-designed TVs, headphones, shavers, etc.

Transparent housings for small appliances and electronic equipment means that no drugs or knives can be smuggled or stored inside, see? Other modifications also incorporated into special prison-models items are: no antennas (since those can stab), and no remotes (because those can be repurposed into bomb detonators). According to headphone-maker Koss, as reported recently in the New York Times, the cord used in one of their prison-headphone models has to be "a bit weaker than usual so it can't be used as a garrote, for permanently silencing a guard or cellmate." And special lines of "prison-sensitive" goods are not the only growth areas for business. Zenith has been making an absolutely groovy-looking transparent prison TV for four years now, and it didn't take long for somebody at the company to realize that it might be able to cash in on a line of transparent TVs for the unincarcerated, a la iMac.

Koss is one of the few companies with significant prison sales ($1 million annually) that is willing to talk about this aspect of their business. According to the Times, the rest are quieter not because they find this business morally questionable ("How comfortable should convicted criminals be while trying to quote-unquote rehabilitate themselves?") but because they don't want to attract competitors. This is a lucrative market that the established guys want to themselves. Now, we don't know if this business is morally questionable or not, and we certainly don't think that if it were, anyone would stop because of that. We're looking kinda eagerly forward to a wave of prison chic-- functionally designed objects that are transparent, soft, and harmless. We're also expecting America's cheerful complicity in racist/classist agendas within the legal system to continue full-steam-ahead-- keeping the prison population rising (in combination with people's stupidity, anger, and just-plain-evilness) at the rate of 10% per year!